Category: Blue Healers News
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What Is Judgement? Understanding How We Think About Others and Ourselves
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What is judgement? Most people think of judgement as something obvious. Criticising others. Being harsh. Jumping to conclusions. But in practice, it is often much quieter than that. It shows up in small, internal moments. You notice something about someone and a thought forms almost instantly. You label it. You…
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Staying With Yourself: A Different Way to Understand Assertiveness
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What does assertiveness mean? For most people, the answer comes quickly—speaking up, being confident, saying what needs to be said. It sounds straightforward enough in theory, and yet when the moment arrives, it often doesn’t feel that simple. You might find yourself standing at a counter with something you bought…
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When Coping Turns into Autopilot: The Four Stages of Competency in Relationships and Mental Health
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Most of us have experienced the four stages of competency without ever knowing there was a name for them. We tend to notice them most clearly when something has gone wrong, or when life has tapped us on the shoulder and said, “You might want to pay attention again.” Learning…
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Why Police Officers Need Compulsory Clinical Supervision (and Why It Isn’t Therapy)
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Policing requires people to repeatedly step into situations most of society spends its life trying to avoid. Violence, grief, moral ambiguity, conflict, sudden loss, and the constant demand to make rapid decisions under pressure are not occasional features of the role; they are baked in. What wears officers down is…
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Overwhelm and Choice
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One of the things I’ve learned, both in life and in the counselling room, is that when people are overwhelmed, choice can feel like a burden rather than a gift. Clients often arrive feeling stuck in their lives, their work, or their relationships, carrying a sense that something isn’t right…
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The Importance of Psychoeducation in Therapy
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In therapy, it’s very easy for all of us to become focused on the symptom. After many years working with individuals and couples in counselling, and before that in policing and high-pressure organisational environments, I’ve seen this pattern repeat itself across settings and presentations. The panic attack. The anger outburst.…
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When Calm Feels Overwhelming:
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Why “Normal” Can Be the Hardest State to Tolerate and how to gently build the capacity to use your tools again. Many people seek counselling because life feels overwhelming, chaotic, or relentlessly stressful. What is less commonly spoken about is a far more confusing experience: becoming overwhelmed when life finally…
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Kink, BDSM, and Overwhelm: When Behaviour Helps — and When It Doesn’t
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I’ve been thinking about a conversation I had recently. Not because it was dramatic or confronting, but because it quietly made sense in an important way. I was talking with someone who openly engages in BDSM. This wasn’t therapy and it wasn’t a formal counselling conversation. It was simply a…
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Counsellors Toolkit: Couples Counselling Through a Mental Health Lens
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The Counsellor’s Toolkit: Couples Counselling Through a Mental Health Lens reframes relationship therapy as mental health practice rather than mere communication coaching. Drawing on Oliver de Nicolai’s experience as a counsellor, clinical supervisor, and former police officer, the book guides new and experienced practitioners in working with couples through curiosity,…
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The Counsellor’s Toolkit: Metaphorically Speaking a Counsellor’s Guide to the Art of Metaphors
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https://bluehealerscounselling.com.au/supervision/Following the success of The Counsellor’s Toolkit: From Law Enforcement to Counselling, this second instalment in The Counsellor’s Toolkit series dives into the transformative power of metaphors in therapy. Whether you’re a new counsellor finding your footing or an experienced practitioner looking to deepen your practice, this book offers a…